Follow You Into The Dark
by browngirlwrites
Summary: A CM Punk/Matt Hardy Pairing. SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

title taken from death cab for cutie's, 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark.' if you have never heard it, i suggest you find it & listen. it's a sad song, but it's beautiful.

**disclaimer: this fic contains character death. if you don't have the stomach for that, i suggest you turn away now. **

pairing: matt hardy & cm punk aka some really cute name I'm trying to think of. (while i originally despised this pairing, it has _slowly_ been growing on me. :) )

* * *

Matt sat on the patio as he watched he watched his lover, his Phil, do back flips across the beach. They had finally moved in together about a few months ago; Phil having moved from his Chicago condo to Matt's beach front home in North Carolina. Matt was loving every single minute of it. He adored Phil; more than he could ever actually tell him. But he always made it a point to make Phil aware that he was loved.

He smiled as he watched Phil's jet black hair flutter in the wind, & the child-like smile that laced his face. He couldn't help but feel proud that Phil was his. Phil had many suitors since he'd joined the WWE, but of every other superstar on the roster, he was chosen. It made the elder Hardy boy feel a bit enamored at the jealousy that seemed to get thrown his way each time he & Phil walked into a room. Even Matt had to admit to himself that he liked making the others crawl just a little.

"Matty!" Phil shouted waving his hand in front of Matt's face.

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry baby. I was just thinking," was Matt's response as he was taken out of his daze.

"Well, you were definitely in la la land there buddy," Phil giggled as he straddled his boyfriend's lap.

"Mmm, so you came over here to bring me back to reality, baby?" Matt asked as he slid his hands into Phil's shorts cupping his firm ass.

"Mmm hmm..." was the only answer he received from Phil as he felt Matt's finger slide into him.

Matt continued to poke inside of Phil, sliding in two more fingers for added pleasure. He used his free hand to pull Phil's face down to his, kissing him sweetly. Phil kissed back with equal passion & was soon sent over the edge as his orgasm milked into his pants. He whined softly as he felt Matt's fingers slide from him, but knew that Matt wasn't done with him as soon as he was lifted into the elder man's arms & carried upstairs.

Matt laid Phil on the bed & shed him of his soiled shorts. Using a warm cloth he cleaned the remains of his pleasure from his skin, kissing the area softly afterwards. Phil giggled softly at the tickling sensation, blushing red when Matt winked at him before taking his love into his mouth. Phil entwined his fingers into Matt's silky black curls as he lifted his hips, urging Matt to take all of him in. Matt did just that as he sucked the hardened organ harder.

Phil moaned softly as he rocked his hips to match Matt's suction. He cried out as he came for a second time, spilling his essence down Matt's waiting throat. Matt stroked lightly at Phil's thighs as he watched his honey come down from cloud nine. Climbing over top of him, he smiled down into the lust, & love, filled gaze of his man, Phil Brooks.

Phil was something else to Matt. He wasn't like any other guy he'd ever dated. Even his brother, Jeff, had said the same thing. Phil was like a rare Van Gogh, ... a masterpiece. Not once did he ever feel the need to worry about whether Phil was being true to him. He never feared that the straight-edge vixen might have someone else as well as himself. No, he didn't have to worry about such petty things with Phil. Phil was special. He told Matt everything; even about all of the rude comments other superstars made in reference to their relationship. He'd even told Matt about the time Nick & the members of the Hart Dynasty cornered him at a Smackdown taping; attempting to coax him into a foursome. That pissed Matt off. But he was quickly reassured when Phil made it perfectly clear that he wanted no parts of them, only him.

Phil had a way of just making his day better. That man's smile could not only light up a room, but it was so contagious that when he smiled; everyone around him did the same. Phil's disposition was always content, & that emotion spread through Matt so hard that he rarely ever found himself in a foul mood. As he leaned down to kiss his lover's lips, he couldn't imagine himself living without the love of his life. But knew that soon the time would come where he wouldn't have a choice. ...


	2. Chapter 2

_-Two months earlier-_

Matt cradled Phil in his arms as the doctor revealed that Phil had Leukemia. Matt couldn't help but not listen to what the doctor was saying while his lover sat on top of the hospital bed, sobbing down into his chest. This was the worst news that they'd ever heard. On the outside, Matt was strong. On the outside he looked sad, but he didn't cry; he wanted to be strong for his Phil. But on the inside, he was crying harder than Phil was literally. The thought of his love being so sick,... the thought of possibly losing him. He didn't know how he was going to manage.

The doctor left the two to themselves as Matt tried to comfort Phil.

"Matty..." Phil sobbed, "this, this... isn't fair!"

"I know baby. I know. But we'll get through this together," Matt cooed stroking Phil's cheek.

"What did I do, Matty? Was I bad? Is God punishing me? Please, tell me what I did!"

"You didn't do anything, baby. You did nothing to deserve this. ... God isn't punishing you."

"Then why is this happening? People always say that things happen for a reason... so what's the reason for this?!"

"I don't know baby. I don't. I wish I had the answer but I don't," was Matt's answered as he held Phil tightly.

"This isn't fair, Matty. I don't want this to happen to me. Please, Matty,... make it go away," Phil pleaded.

"I wish I could, babe. Lord knows I wish that I could," Matt responded as he slowly rocked Phil.

**********

After Matt tucked a sound asleep Phil into their bed, he went out onto the balcony. As he looked out to the moon glaring off the ocean he began to cry. He didn't want to cry in front of Phil because he didn't want his baby to feel any worse than he already did. Plus, he knew that if Phil saw him crying that he'd think it was his fault & that he'd hurt Matt. Matt didn't want him to feel like that. As he looked up to the sky, he put his hands together & silently said a prayer:

_'Dear Lord,_

_I don't really know, or understand what's happening here. & I don't want to question your work, but I can't help but feel some type of way about what's going on. Phil's such a good boy, Lord, he don't deserve this. If there's anybody that doesn't deserve this, it's him. ... Lord I ask you for your guidance. I need your help to get through this. I need you to help me be strong for Phil; I must be strong for him. I love him so much, Lord. Please don't take him from me. Please...'_

"Matty, are you crying?"

Matt whipped around to a teary-eyed Phil standing at the balcony door. He smiled as he wiped his eyes, motioning for Phil to come to him. He wiped away the tears that threatened to fall down Phil's angelic face. Matt marveled at how beautiful Phil was in the moonlight. He gently kissed the tip of his nose, then his cheeks, then his forehead. He sighed as he pulled Phil into him, embracing him tightly. He lightly caressed Phil's back, as Phil rested his head on Matt's shoulder.

"Wanna go lay down on the lounge chair, baby?" Matt asked.

Phil only nodded his head. Matt lifted him up & walked them over to the lounge in the corner of the balcony. As they got comfortable on the chair, Phil curled up next to Matt. Matt smiled a little, caressing behind Phil's ear.

"I love you, Phil."

"I love you, too Matty."

"Everything's going to be alright, OK?"

"How do you know?"

"Because, I'm going to be right here by your side the whole time. We'll get through this together."

"... Matty, I'm scared."

"I know you are baby. I'm scared, too. But we have to be strong, OK?"

"Yea. I'll try for you. OK?"

"OK."

**********

_-Present-_

"Matt, let's go to Coldstone. I have a fiendin' for some pumpkin ice cream!" Phil shouted from by the door.

"Hold on a sec, I can't find my ponytail holder."

"It's in the drawer to the far left in the bathroom!"

"Oh," Matt whispered as he grabbed the black band & tied his hair back.

He hurried downstairs to the door where Phil was standing with his arms folded, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Patience is a virtue, my dear," he chuckled as Phil almost ran out the door.

"Not when there's ice cream involved, _my dear_," he teased.

Matt just chuckled as he locked the door behind them. The car ride to the ice cream shop was fun; the two of them singing along to Minor Threat's 'Out Of Step' cd. Phil knew all of the words to these songs, while Matt did his best to pretend that he did. When they finally made it to Coldstone's parking lot, Phil damn near jumped out of the car.

"Phil! At least wait until the car stops moving, geez!"

Phil pouted & waited until Matt parked the car. Once inside, they ordered their desserts & sat at a table near the entrance. They sat quietly, eating their ice cream & watching the passersby.

"Matt, do you think that I'm going to Heaven when I die?" Phil asked.

"Phil..."

"Be for real with me Matty. We both know that this disease is going to kill me. I'm getting sicker everyday. & of course I'm not taking any medicines, so I realize I won't live through this. Answer me, please?"

Matt stared into Phil's eyes for the longest time before he sighed & answered.

"I don't think you're going to Heaven, Phil. I know you are. You're a good person, & you've always done everything right."

"But what about me being gay, Matt? People say that God doesn't allow gay people into Heaven."

"I don't believe that, Phil."

"Then what do you believe?"

"I believe that God loves you. He loves you no matter the fact that you are gay. & I don't believe he would turn away your good heart & spirit just because you love a man rather than a woman. I believe he has a nice little cozy spot waiting just for you, ... and for me whenever I get there with you."

Phil said nothing. He just smiled & went back to eating his ice cream. Matt watched him carefully as he looked up from his bowl & looked up to the sky, then looked back at Matt.

"Thanks, Matty."


	3. Chapter 3

Phil stared over at Matt who was sleeping in the chair next to his hospital bed. He smiled weakly & looked back up to the ceiling. His breathing was slow, & he felt very weak. He was so hungry, but he barely even had the strength to lift a fork so he could eat. He looked over to the tv, an old episode of Tom & Jerry was on. He couldn't help but laugh a bit at the antics of the two. They hated each other so much, yet they cared about each other at the same time. Phil always found that interesting.

He looked from the tv when he felt familiar fingers stroking his cheek. He looked over to see Matt smiling up at him with tired eyes.

"Did you eat, honey?"

"No."

"Not hungry?"

"Very; but I couldn't even find the strength to lift the fork," Phil chuckled.

"Aww, baby, you should have called to me."

"Eh, I didn't wanna wake you. You looked so peaceful."

"Well, I'm always going to look peaceful when I'm around you," Matt smiled. "Now let's get some food in your system."

Matt hit the button connected to Phil's bed to elevate him a bit. He began to carefully feed him, as he knew Phil didn't have the strength to eat liked he used to. Much to his surprise, Phil actually ate the entire amount of food that was on his plate. This made Matt extremely happy seeing as Phil had not been eating as much since he entered the hospital a couple weeks ago.

"Matt, come lay next to me, please."

Sitting the plate on the table, Matt slowly climbed on to the bed beside Phil. He pulled the younger man closer to him, embracing him securely. He placed tiny kisses all over Phil's face, as the ravenette giggled at the tickling sensation.

"Matt, I'm so glad that you're here with me. I don't know if I would have been able to go through this without you," Phil confessed.

"You know I would never leave your side. I'll always be there for you Phil. Even after... I'll still be here for you."

"Thank you so much, Matty. You're the best boyfriend I could have ever had. I don't think I could have made a better choice."

"The feeling is definitely mutual, baby. I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

They laid there in each others embrace quietly. The only sound being that of each others breathing. Phil lifted his head, capturing Matt's lips with his own. Matt was taken a little bit by surprise, but kissed his lover back with loving intensity. When the kiss was broken, they gazed into each others eyes for what seemed like eternity.

"I love you, Matty," Phil whispered.

"& I love you, Phil."

Phil just smiled as his eyes closed & the machine flat lined. He was gone. Matt began to cry as he held Phil's body close, not wanting to let his baby go. He didn't even notice when his brother, Jeff, had entered the room. Jeff's eyes teared as he watched his brother holding Phil. He knew that this was hard on Matt, more so than he himself could recognize. Jeff walked over to the bed & placed his hand on Matt's back just as the doctor & two nurses walked in.

"Come on Matt, ... you have to let him go now," Jeff whispered.

"I know, but I-I can't. I just can't."

"Matt, ... man, I know this is hard. I know it is, but you have to let the doctor & nurses tend to him now. They'll take good care of him."

Wiping his eyes, Matt slowly let go of his Phil. Jeff helped him from the bed as he helped Matt to put on his jacket. The nurses slowly brushed past Matt so they could tend to Phil's body. The doctor walked up to Matt & placed his hand on the young man's shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss, son. If it's any comfort to you, he's better off now. He's no longer in pain & he can be at peace."

Matt smiled weakly & nodded. Jeff led Matt out to the waiting room where both his & Phil's families were waiting. They already knew that Phil was gone as they were all crying silently. Matt could barely look at his own dad let alone Phil's parents. Phil's mother got up & slowly walked over to Matt.

"Thank you so much for taking care of my baby," she whispered as she hugged him close. "You made him so happy. I'm so grateful for that."

Matt just hugged her back as he began to sob into her shoulder. When they pulled apart, she kissed his cheeks & smiled at him. It was about another twenty minutes before everyone said their blessings & goodbyes & parted ways. Matt got in on the passenger side of Jeff's car as they drove back to Jeff's. Jeff didn't want Matt to be alone in that house knowing that everything about it would remind him of Phil.

When they finally got to Jeff's, Matt went straight upstairs to the guest room. He turned on the small clock radio as he laid there staring up at the ceiling. As a familiar song came on the radio, Matt let the warm tears slide to his ears as it played.

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark_

_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
And I held my tongue as she told me  
"Son fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back_

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
'cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms_

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_


	4. Chapter 4

There was a huge turnout for Phil's funeral. Apart from their families, several WWE, TNA, & ROH stars were amongst the crowd. Phil's closest friends: Nuufolau Seanoa, Scotty Goldman, & Nelson Erazo all paid their respects to their fallen friend. Each one gave Matt a show of respect for his loss as well. The funeral was beautiful. Matt couldn't have been more pleased at how beautiful the service was. It was exactly what Phil deserved. At the grave site, a flock of white doves were released into the sky; a show of Phil's spirit flying towards the Heavens.

**********

Matt slowly walked through his & Phil's home. Each step he took was more painful than the last. Everything in it reminded him of Phil. From their pictures spread across the house, to Phil's favorite spot on the couch, to the huge, autographed Rancid poster that Phil had gotten from the band a year before. The further Matt walked through the house the more his chest began to pain him. This was just too much to bear.

When he finally reached their bedroom, Matt lost it. He fell to his knees & cried his eyes out. He reached out for the photo of Phil the sat on the table next to his side of the bed. He cradled it tightly to his chest as he kissed it over & over, whispering how much he loved & missed his Phil. He was sobbing so much that he began to choke on his saliva, coughing violently to stop himself.

He backed up, tilting his head to lean against the wall. He slowly calmed himself down before stripping of his clothes to take a shower. He stayed under the water until the water ran cold, not caring about the chills that slid down to his feet. It wasn't until he heard Jeff calling his name that he snapped out of it.

"You OK, bro?"

"Yea, I'm fine. When did you get here?"

"Just pulled up about five minutes ago. This water is cold as fuck, Matt. You best get out of here before you catch a cold."

"I don't really care about that, Jeff."

"Well I do; now get out so I can help you get dried off."

Matt followed his brother's instructions. After he was dressed in some pajama pants, & a tshirt, he laid on the bed that he & Phil once shared. Jeff flipped on the tv so that there was some sound in the room as he climbed in the bed next to his brother. Jeff held him close as he sobbed softly into his chest, understanding how Matt felt about returning here. They laid there for a long time before Matt had finally quieted down.

Jeff stroked his brother's hair as he looked down at him. He smiled at how calm & peaceful Matt finally looked; but the smile quickly turned to a frown when he realized that Matt's chest wasn't moving in the motion to show that he was breathing. He leaned down, placing his ear to Matt's face, no sound. He sat up quickly, grabbing Matt by the shoulder, shaking him violently. He called out Matt's name several times but got no answer.

He quickly hopped off the bed & called 911, followed by his father. When the ambulance arrived, the EMT's quickly loaded Matt into the vehicle; rushing him to the nearest hospital. As Jeff & his father sat in the waiting room: Phil's parents, Shannon, & Gregory showed up. They all asked Jeff how Matt was doing but he had no answer.

"I don't know what's going on, man. All I know is that we were laying in the bed & he was crying a bit. Then after that he had calmed down. I thought that he was asleep until I realized that his chest wasn't moving," Jeff explained.

Just as Jeff spoke, the doctor & a nurse came into the waiting room; the same ones who tended to Phil. The look on their faces told them that the news wasn't good.

"I regret to inform you that Mr. Hardy has passed. Unfortunately he suffered from heart failure. We tried everything that we could to revive him, but unfortunately we could not get his heart to start beating again. I know that this is tough being that you all just lost another, ... I'm sorry."

Everyone just looked around at each other in tears. Matt was completely healthy, so his sudden death was the ultimate surprise. Everyone questioned how Matt could suffer from heart failure as fast as he did. No one could fathom how that was possible. But Jeff figured, to himself, that he knew the answer. In his heart he knew exactly why Matt was gone.

**********

Matt's funeral had the same turnout just as Phil had not too long before. After the service, everyone gathered at the grave site as Matt's body was laid to rest next to Phil's. After the burial, everyone gathered back at Jeff's place to eat. As the radio played softly in the background, Phil's mother said the blessing over the food, Jeff stood to speak.

"I want to make a toast to my brother, Matt. I'd also like to do the same for Phil. Those two were probably the most beautiful couple I'd ever seen in my life. They made each other laugh & smile. There even were times when they made each other angry, hurt, & cry; but no matter what, they always worked things out. I believe that's why they complimented each other so well; the ability to deal with each others personalities & flaws, & not just giving up on one another.

"After a couple failed relationships, & you all know about that, I was extremely happy that Matt found Phil. Despite some negativity around them, ... & you all know about that, too, Phil always stayed true to Matt. Just as he stayed true to Phil. That's the kind of love that can't be touched & broken. It was pure.

"I didn't want to say this before because I didn't feel that it was the right time. But I honestly believe that Matt's death was meant to be," that lined caused everyone to look at Jeff as if he were going insane.

"Now I know that sounds crazy, but I believe it. Matt would have had a hard life trying to live without Phil. The pain would have just been too unbearable for him. I know because I know my brother. I believe that God took him so that he wouldn't have to deal with that pain. I think God took him so that he could spend eternity with Phil. ... It may read 'heart failure' on paper, but I know better. I know the true cause of Matt's death was simply a broken heart, & God found a way to fix it."

Jeff looked up as he continued with tears in his eyes, "so Matt, Phil, I hope that you two are eternally happy with each other. I love you both so much. & one day we all shall see each other again."

There wasn't a dry eye at the table as they all softly clapped as Jeff sat down. Although it sounded strange to them, it kind of made sense to them at the same time. Just as everyone stopped clapping & things went quiet, a familiar song came on the radio, causing everyone to turn & stare at it.

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark...._

End.


End file.
